Let’s be real and clear, before we go any further…
I don’t always make the best decisions for my future.
So, if you are here to learn the secret to never making a bad decision again, you are at the wrong place.
I mess up just like anyone, but I choose to learn how to be intentional with my decisions, more and more everyday, and that is what has made the difference.
So, enter into this, knowing that you will not instantly make every decision perfectly, from the moment after you read this post; but you will have tools to progress in making decisions that will impact your future, for the better!
This is a journey.
I am in the middle of it.
so are you.
Let’s do this together!
Decisions, are difficult for me.
I often get analysis paralysis when I have to make a decision.
Analysis Paralysis is when you are faced with the responsibility of making a decision and due to the pressure of having a limited amount of time to make that decision, you just freeze up and try to avoid having to make the decision at all or you choose the safest option possible.
Like if you had to choose a restaurant to eat at, with the person who was driving you there, but you were on the street where if you didn’t decide at that moment, you would drive away from one of the options. If the one driving would say “okay, you have to pick now or we will drive past the other option.”
I’m just being real with you, making a decision under those circumstances, it is enough to make me keep silent and just say “go to wherever you want to go” or “go to whatever is most convenient.”
There is already pressure involved when you have a decision to make. Adding on top of that, a time limit… that pressure will make me more comfortable forfeiting my choice altogether.
What about the kind of decisions, where both options are good and bad in different ways?
What about when the decision you make today, likely could affect you positively in the long run, but it would mean difficulty in the here and now?… or vise versa?
Decisions you make in one moment, can impact you for the rest of your life.
No pressure…
Us, being unaware of our future, are expected to make the right decisions.
This is often where my fear comes in.
I don’t feel equipped to make such important decisions… yet, everyday I fight for an opportunity to make more decisions for myself.
How is this?
Because we make plenty of decisions everyday, and we don’t even realize the impact that they all have.
Choosing your major in college is a heavy decision; one that you are fully aware of how dramatically it can determine your future.
Choosing the best verbal response to your sibling, when they are in a bad mood. That decision slides under the radar and you don’t really think that a microscopic decision like that is even that important.
We honestly, don’t even categorize those things as decisions at all.
I mean, If we did consider everything we did a major decision…
every contribution,
every snack we ate,
every video we watched,
every errand we ran,
every word we spoke,
every task we accomplished,
every smile we gave,
We would be making major decisions all day long, EVERYDAY!
Hmm…
What if that is exactly right?
NO!
“Those little decisions are not as vital as whether or not to invest in that company or whether or not to marry that person.”
Why?
Could it be, because you have more invested in some decisions than others?
You have to risk your money in your decision to invest or start a business.
You have to risk spending your life tied to a partner who doesn’t satisfy your needs.
We rate the importance of a decision by how much we could lose or gain.
This is determined by what you value.
Some value money, comfort or status while others value people, peace, and knowledge.
The list of what we all value, could go on forever and the truth is that they are all unique!
We all value many things at different amounts and this fluctuates continually, throughout our whole lives.
This is not a bad thing!
In fact, this is the reason that we can progressively make better decisions for our future! We are constantly changing the degree of all the things we value, and when we increase the amount we value one thing, It decreases how much we value the opposing thing.
Which means that though this is the reason why we can progress in better decision making, this is also the reason why we can fall into the cycle of poor decision making.
If what I value determines my decisions, what do I need to value more, in order to make better decisions?
I can’t tell you exactly what to start valuing in life to achieve the outcomes that you desire. There is no formula to this life. There will always be an element of risk…
If we did not have risk, we would not utilize faith!
People will try to sell you on things that are “risk free” but that is a lie.
We would love to have something in life be risk free, but that is just not possible.
So faith is necessary and believe it or not, it is used everyday, by everybody!
So, no matter what we choose to value, we use faith to ultimately decide what could produce for us, what we value most.
Let’s just say, I cannot tell you to choose intimate family meals, instead of meals on the road; because our stories are completely different. Though, family meals, for me, could be opportunities to invest in the hearts of my family; your meals, on the road, could very well be the result of traveling the world to help those who are in need or minister to people.
You see… there is no straight answer for all of us…
But, since every little decision we make in a moment, could completely shift the trajectory of our lives,
I will tell you, that every decision we make, comes down to one question…
One question that we must ask ourselves, before we choose anything!
Is this going to benefit temporarily, or will it benefit later?
Whether we are facing a decision where we will risk losing money or if we are facing a decision where we could say something that would make our child feel insecure for years to come…
We need to ask this question!
We struggle with answering this question before we act!
Some decisions seem like they will produce what we value, but is there a chance it could only produce temporary results, that solve the instant desire but not the ultimate goal?
We don’t consider this!
Your child is constantly talking and asking questions, and you, in your frustration, tell them they are bothering you or that they ask too many questions. You did not intend to make your child feel like they should not be inquisitive, you just wanted them to understand that in that moment, you were not in a mood to answer their questions. However, you did not consider the risk in your decision to speak out of your frustration. Now, the result is your child being too insecure to ask questions or learn, when they were meant to utilize their gift, to become a knowledgeable person and perhaps a bold teacher!
Every.
Decision.
Matters.
You just need to choose…
What do you truly value?
What option in front of me will be a benefit for the long run, not just a fix for today?
God’s word gives us some insight at this concept!
Let’s go to
Genesis 25:24-34
We meet Isaac’s twin sons, who had such difficulty being around each other, that Isaac’s wife could feel their conflict as she carried them, inside the womb.
The second born was so desperate to have what the first born had, that he held onto his brothers foot on the way out of the womb, so technically he was out at the same time as the first born brother.
They named him “one who takes what was anothers, by force” or “Jacob”, for short.
He lived up to this name, because in verses 29-34, we see him use what he could use to temporarily satisfy a need of his brother.
"Now Jacob cooked a stew; and Esau came in from the field, and he was weary.
And Esau said to Jacob, “Please feed me with that same red stew, for I am weary.” Therefore his name was called Edom.
But Jacob said, “Sell me your birthright as of this day.”
And Esau said, “Look, I am about to die; so what is this birthright to me?”
Then Jacob said, “Swear to me as of this day.” So he swore to him, and sold his birthright to Jacob.
And Jacob gave Esau bread and stew of lentils; then he ate and drank, arose, and went his way. Thus Esau despised his birthright."
Allow me to point some thing out…
Verse 27
"So the boys grew. And Esau was a skillful hunter, a man of the field; but Jacob was a mild man, dwelling in tents."
- Esau was a hunter and a man of the field. Certainly, he could go out and provide food for himself.
- Jacob was not the only one who could feed Esau. We know he could prepare food or even have his mother prepare food, because we know that Esau would feed his game to his father. (verse 28)
Why did Esau decide to give away what would benefit him for the rest of his life, for one meal?
I mean, back in the day, the first born got everything passed down from the parents. The first born was given blessings and rights that the siblings did not get.
Why give up your future for one meal?
- What did he value?
- Was his decision going to benefit temporarily or benefit his future?
He chose in desperation and frustration, as we all often do.
He traded a birthright, that would give him provisions for the rest of his life, for a quick fix, that was put right in front of his face.
If he just held off on that deal, he could have gone and hunted and prepared food, or returned home to see what his mother had available to eat.
He was tired and hungry so he was vulnerable to making bad decisions that only offer temporary satisfaction.
This looks like us most of the time.
We are hungry for what we value and we are exhausted from chasing it…
So, when we have right in front of us, the option to trade our long term satiation for a quick and easy snack, to give us a taste of what we value; we decide to accept that option.
We see that in verse 34, Esau didn’t value his birthright more than his temporary desire.
He despised it.
Do we truly value our future as much as we think we do?
Or do we despise it?
If we valued the ultimate result more than our present comfort, we would make every decision we face, important.
every word we spoke, would be seen as a decision that could make or break those around us or even ourselves.
We would choose to do things the right way even if that meant discomfort and inconvenience today.
In this scripture, money was not involved, yet in verse 33, we see that Esau did indeed sell his future for his temporary.
Are we selling our future for temporary?
No decision is too small or unimportant.
They all make an impact in our lives, the lives of those around us and especially in who we become.
So, yes, choosing a good car for your lifestyle is important, but so is your decision to go out of your way to help your spouse or sibling with a chore or errand.
Yes, it may take time out of your present and it may not be what you are in the mood for, after the day you have had, but it will grow your character! This will impact your future by growing your compassion and patience, so then when you get a new opportunity in life, your character is strong and you find that now you are able to handle such big opportunities. As well, you could show the ones you love, that they matter; and that could dissolve an insecurity in their hearts.
Expand what you value!
You will see that detrimental decisions are all around you everyday, and though we may fail to make the best choice in every area, we now see hundreds of new opportunities to choose better.
You do not have to face these decisions alone!
The best part is that the LORD is with us in every decision and He longs to lead us in the best direction!
When we pause for a moment and acknowledge Him before we decide anything, He will lead us to life, and life more abundant!
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths."
Proverbs 3:5-6
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11
Photo by Dmitriy Ganin from Pexels
Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
