It’s Hard to See Hope

I have this toxic habit. 

I didn’t see it until now, but it has been wrecking my mind for years! 

Let me explain with an example from my life.  

I found myself in a season where I was going through so many negative pits. Like, hit after hit after hit … 

Can you relate? 

I often think to myself “every year, something falls apart! 

There has been no season of just peace of mind…”  

So in this season, where I found myself getting hit over and over and over again, I struggled to find a silver lining. 

And I really tried. 

In my exhausted way, I tried to find something to be grateful for… 

It was difficult to see the sun when you feel like you are being covered and crushed by the weight of your circumstances. 

One day, after experiencing something extraordinary; something I’ve prayed to see happen, I did not radiate the goodness from that extraordinary experience. 

At the end of the day, I felt the absolute devastation from the tragic experiences, I faced earlier in that season of my life. 

But a miracle happened earlier that same day! 

That day, I spoke with a person who was headstrong and oftentimes very blunt. I think that this is a wonderful personality, but when you want to show people how much God loves them, this personality can be intimidating. 

It didn’t matter though, on this day! 

I have always tried to express my beliefs with this person in the past, and I just end up feeling like I look naive to them. 

I still keep expressing my heart for the Lord because… that is what I’m all about! 

On this day, when God was brought up in the conversation, out of my mouth flowed everything about having a true relationship with God, not a faith based on religion. It was so normal and I wasn’t nervous or intimidated by the responses of the person. 

I honestly felt like it was the Holy Spirit doing some work in that moment, because not only did my delivery come out better than I have ever been able to deliver, but this person listened, soft-heartedly. 

It was definitely a beautiful moment for me and it’s what I find my purpose in! 

Telling people of the true love that God has for them! 

However, when the hustle and bustle of the day was over, and I was home and winding down for the day… 

I was overcome by the pain of my past and the fears of my future. 

It felt as though, each wound I had covered with a bandage, throughout the day; they were now exposed to the slightest touch and each touch violently troubled me. 

I told y’all that we are being real, over here at HSP. 

Have you ever felt this way? 

Well, we are certainly not the only ones. 

Go to I kings 18:20-46.  

Here is Elijah, the bold prophet and man of God! 

Even he struggled with this mentality. 

After a brutal 3 year drought, proclaimed by God through Elijah, we reach the point where God is ready to pour out some rain on the parched land! 

This is a word from God, given to Elijah, before a single drop fell. 

Elijah stepped out in faith and did everything God instructed. 

In verse 37, we see that Elijah was sent not just because God was going to bring rain on this land, but because God was doing something much greater…  

“Hear me, O Lord, hear me, that this people may know that You are the Lord God, and that You have turned their hearts back to You again. ””  

‭‭I Kings‬ ‭18:37‬ ‭NKJV‬‬ 

God was bringing hearts back to Him, using this display!  

He showed the people that He alone is worthy to be trusted as their God, not all their false gods and idols. 

Look! In Verse 39… 

“Now when all the people saw it, they fell on their faces; and they said, “The Lord, He is God! The Lord, He is God! ”” 

‭‭‬‬ I Kings‬ ‭18:39‬ ‭NKJV 

He used Elijah and his faith and the faith of those who were with him, for one of the greatest miracles in history! 

So many hearts were brought to God! 

Elijah was part of such a pivotal moment in history; when so many people gave their hearts to the Lord. 

However, he didn’t get to enjoy this moment for long… 

When Jezebel, a powerful ruler of a nation that worshipped false gods, learned what Elijah had done, she made it her goal to destroy him. 

Let’s read about it in I Kings 19:1-4. 

Elijah went from seeing the miracle, to running for his life! 

He went from having the faith to believe that God can do anything, to not believing God would protect him from Jezebel. 

He instantly forgot the amazing thing God just did and he didn’t trust that God could do the small task of protecting him. 

I love how God handled him! 

God did not condemn Elijah for being weak in faith after everything He did to display His power. 

God is so different from what we expect! 

God met Elijah, who should’ve known better, right in the middle of his fear.  

(I Kings 19:5-10) 

God sent comfort to Elijah! 

He gave him food to show that He cares about what Elijah needs. 

Then Elijah fasted so he was vulnerable enough to receive what God was going to reveal next. 

In verses 11-18, 

God shows that He is not in the storm or the earthquake or the fire, but He is in the still small voice! 

God shows that He is not in the huge fear-striking display! 

God is in the whisper. 

God is close to us! 

Close enough to use a low and calm voice. 

He doesn’t want us to fear the storm or the shaking we feel around us! 

He wants us to trust Him. 

He wants us to understand that He does not come to our hearts by thunder and earthquake or by fire and wind! 

He is coming to us with a still small voice. 

This is how He he comes in these moments when the storms come! 

Oftentimes, it is right after an amazing experience with God, a great display of faith or a moment of seeing God work in our lives, that we then get pounded mentally with fears, insecurities, pain, sadness, anxiety, disappointment, comparison, etc. 

It’s not a coincidence, it’s war! 

The enemy doesn’t want you to acknowledge God in all your ways, so he reminds you, right after you’ve seen God do something incredible, that there are so many things you still are falling short in and so many things that God might not be able to handle. 

Just know that God is not angry that, after all He has done, you still lack faith in another area! 

God is patient with you. 

God meets you like He met Elijah! 

After Elijah’s backslide in faith, God brought him to a new level of faith. 

God didn’t shame Elijah for not trusting Him more. 

God lead him with a kind voice and a steady hand… 

 God guided Elijah tenderly, to the next step.

For me, when I faced this overwhelming moment of pain at the end of an incredible day…