What is Attraction Really?

Attraction is BAD!  

Or at least that is what religious people would say. 

With all due respect… that statement is,  

False! 

Let’s get one thing straight before we continue.   

ATTRACTION IS NOT BAD!  

Yes, even coming from a Christian’s perspective, attraction is not bad!    

I know, it’s not easy to believe!    

We tend to feel that if we have a desire for something that isn’t reading the Bible, prayer or serving for charity, we must be bad inside.  

People express that, if you struggle with desires, you must not really know God or you must be a really messed up person.  

Little do they know that even when they aren’t showering those destructive words over you, those thoughts are silently crushing you anyways.       

This goes for everyone, but I know that this weight is heaviest on the shoulders of Christians.  

This is because Christians really want to love the LORD, not only with their words and actions, but above all, with their hearts.    

If you have EVER felt shame regarding attraction, from other people or even just from the devil’s constant bullying, inside your head…     

Keep reading!   

Let’s discover what attraction is and why we don’t need to be ashamed because of it or afraid of it!    

What is attraction?         

I’m glad you asked!    

Attraction is the spark of interest or appeal towards something or someone.   

Attraction normally begins visually but it gets stronger when qualities appear, that are appreciated by the viewer.   

This just sounds superficial doesn’t it?   

What good can come from our attractions?      

What would you say, if I said that attraction is not only a good thing but it is also necessary!      

I’ll explain.    

Attraction is necessary!    

What do you call the pull you feel inside when you see a large order of waffle fries?   

How about the feeling you get when you see a cold bottle of water, after a long hike, under the blistering sun?     

You feel a hunger…    

That hunger is called attraction!   

That attraction doesn’t always result in the best choices, but the purpose of those attractions are still good!    

The purpose of the attraction to food, is to encourage your body to fulfill the desire.    

The desire is not bad!   

Food is necessary to live, so the attraction is doing it’s job by drawing you closer to fulfilling the body’s legitimate need!   

The basic attractions we experience, reveal our legitimate needs.   

So, feeling like you should ignore your attractions and desires,    

That’s like saying that it’s okay to ignore your hunger for food, when you are hungry.   

If you always ignored your attraction for food, you would starve to death.    

Ignoring and denying an attraction, doesn’t make the attraction go away…     

It makes it worse.        

We would never tell someone who is dying of thirst, that they are wrong for desiring water!    

So, why do we think people are messed up because of their attraction to other things?   

The purpose of our attractions, are to preserve us and fulfill the legitimate needs we have.   

Attraction is not bad!  

However, our attractions can result in bad things if we don’t address them wisely.  

Though attractions are unavoidable and absolutely necessary for survival, they can oftentimes encourage us to settle for the closest thing that could possibly fulfill the hunger.      

This, is where attraction goes wrong!      

The problem is not in the attraction itself.    

The problem lies in how we address that attraction!    

The question is not,  

“How can I get rid of my attractions?”     

Rather, the question should be,   

“How do I address my attractions wisely?”    

Attraction needs to be addressed with knowledge!       

You are starving after a full day’s work and the first thing you see is a plate, full of waffle fries, and beside it, a bowl of mashed potatoes made with almond milk instead of all the extra creamy ingredients.   

If you’re like me, both will make my heart skip a beat!   

One is delicious and not very good for you.    

The other is delicious and very good for you.     

Though, I would love either one, I know myself…      

I would choose to eat the waffle fries because my attraction will pull me closer to what quickly causes pleasure and satisfies the body’s need!   

What if the mashed potatoes still needed to be prepared?   

It’s a no-brainer!   

I would choose the waffle fries every time!   

Your attraction is driven by your body’s responses to satisfaction and pleasure!   

That means, even if you have a healthy option right beside an unhealthy option, you are inclined to choose the unhealthy thing; only because your mind registers the unhealthy option with more pleasure responses than the healthy option.   

For those who are new to this relationship with Jesus, this is called…   

The flesh.   

Do you ever wonder why your mind always seems to lean towards what is not the best for you?   

This is because your flesh, or your body, wants to continuously experience pleasure.  

Pleasure tells your body that it was successful in the daily job of keeping you alive, safe and well, so your body depends on signals like pleasure, to confirm that the need was addressed.   

The flesh isn’t looking for quality fulfillment, though.  

It’s looking for quick satisfaction, because every moment that your body is in need, your body is desperately trying to fulfill that need.  

That is why some attractions seem desperate, because your body is doing anything it can to fill up an area that you are lacking in. 

Don’t think for a second, that the devil doesn’t use this to his advantage! 

The enemy tries to use lies to get you to listen to your flesh, over what you know to be true.  

Again, your hungers are not the problem!    

How you feed them is what determines the quality of the result. 

How should we feed our attraction?    

Well, we cannot feed our attraction with everything that it likes.  

We have to acknowledge that we are attracted (or hungry,) and 

instead of quickly trying to fill it with the first thing that looks good, feed it with what you know will satisfy!      

This means analyzing what you are REALLY hungry for.  

For example:  

When you see those waffle fries and feel the attraction to them…  

You are not hungry for waffle fries!  

You are actually hungry for nutrients, fuel and satisfaction!  

You can get all of those things if you choose the healthier version of mashed potatoes, but because the fries taste a little better, you choose what stimulates pleasure and gets the job done.  

We need to use what we know, to determine how we address our attraction.  

We cannot address our attraction based on our initial emotion.  

You need to decide.    

What is more worth the investment…   

Full satisfaction that will not take from your health, but increase your health?    

Or temporary satisfaction, followed by the repercussions from the things that you consumed, that were not good for you.   

we know what is healthy and if we don’t we should at least try and find out if what we have been consuming is good for us.   

Yes, I am not just talking about foods that we are attracted to.  

I am talking about relationships, media, entertainment, jobs, hobbies, etc.  

Whatever you get attracted to, needs to be analyzed, in order to know if it is what’s healthy for you!   

It is not always easy to see if what we choose after we experience attraction, is good or not; because sometimes it is like choosing between healthy mashed potatoes and waffle fries.  

both are made from the same thing!  

The difference is, how they are prepared!  

So, when you feel attraction for that person, in a romantic way.  

Before you pursue anything romantic with them, stand back and remember what the purpose of attraction is.  

God made marriage and romantic feelings, but He intended for us to satisfy those needs in a healthy way! 

Analyze if there is something healthy in their character; something you would want to be married to someday. 

Don’t just jump into action because they look good! 

Waffle fries look good! 

They might even stop the hunger for a moment, but they will add no nutrition to you. 

Only take health from you, over time.  

The attraction for a partner is not bad! 

How you feed it could be good or bad.  

It is entirely up to you!  

I know it is difficult because the world is full of potatoes, but remember…   

Don’t choose what just looks good, choose what has been prepared in a healthy way!  

How was that person being prepared? 

How is their character? 

How do they treat others? 

Do they have integrity? 

Can they be a partner to you for the long haul, or are they just fun, good looking and have the same music preferences as you?   

This applies to everything that causes us to feel a impulse to act.  

Let’s look in God’s word to see one of the first encounters with attraction.  

Go to Genesis 3:1-7,     

We know that in Genesis 2:17, God says only that they couldn’t eat from that one tree, yet Eve said if they touch it, they will die. 

That is not true! 

She added that part.  

Notice in Genesis 3:6,  

 ^“So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate.”    

She felt attracted to it, though it was bad for her!  

She justified feeding her attraction this way, because the serpent told her the reasons why it would not be a bad decision. 

She knew it was not right for her!  

She had other options that were the same exact thing, except only one was off limits.  

Read in Genesis 2:9,  

“And out of the ground the Lord God made every tree grow that is pleasant to the sight and good for food. The tree of life was also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.”    

All the other options were just as pleasant in appearance, with the same good fruit on them!  

Yet the one thing that was not healthy for Adam and Eve, was the same thing that the enemy made most appealing to them!  

The hunger was not bad,   

How they addressed their hunger was bad.    

God gave parameters because He knew what was good for His children. 

We were never suppose to live with the knowledge of both good and evil, because evil would surely kill us.  

God offered the tree of life, which was just as appealing as the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, yet     

the enemy glamorized what lead to death, and Adam and Eve chose what offered more instant pleasure, than what lead to life!   

Sound familiar?   

That sounds like the mental battles that we face everyday, when it comes to what attracts us.   

The enemy does have this way of glamorizing the decisions that lead to unhealthiness or death.  

This is why the options that are good for you, even if they taste good and satisfy you, never appeal to you as strongly as the options that are bad for you.   

The enemy isn’t out for your enjoyment, he really wants you to choose every decision that will lead to your death.   

Spiritually,   

emotionally,   

Mentally,   

even physically.   

Adam and Eve would not have started this whole mess if they had fed their attraction wisely!   

If they had chosen what God said was actually good; what they knew would lead to life.    

We know what is good for us ultimately, yet we seldom choose to do what is good…      

Let’s choose to feed our attractions with what will truly satisfy us!